In counseling, “resistance” refers to behaviors in which one consciously wants to solve one’s problem but unconsciously tries to express oneself or avoid efforts to solve the problem because of the burden that arises in solving the problem. This resistance is not a behavior that appears only in counseling settings but is a constant phenomenon in interpersonal relationships. Resistance is anything in another person’s words or actions that makes you uncomfortable and want to avoid something. In counseling, these thoughts come when the counselor and the client form an appropriate rapport and go deeper into the client’s problem, and it is when the client wants to deal with and solve their issues in-depth, but at the same time, they don’t want to expose their inner problem. Resistance may be conscious, but it is more likely unconscious.
But where there is this resistance, there is instinct (core dynamic). The emotional wound causing the problem tries with all its might to shield itself because the enemy’s command center—the core dynamics (the core emotions and defense mechanisms)—prevents solving the problem. The primary reason for resistance is so that people can avoid painful emotions such as anxiety, guilt, or shame. In other words, resistance is a concept that encompasses essential data about a person’s past, so if you understand this concept well and apply it in the context of spiritual guidance, it will become an important stepping stone for self-analysis and understanding.
There are several ways to express resistance.
The first is silence. A person who has been able to tell a story in his consciousness at some point does not want to tell his story. This includes the sudden inability to remember the story or the momentary failure to think of something to say. However, there can also be silence in the opposite sense. It is difficult to tolerate silence, so breaking that silence is also resistance.
The second is editing the story. Some people tell their serious story logically and concretely, then suddenly change the topic or edit the story’s content to suit their needs.
The third is intellectualization. This is saying that one gained insight by oneself. “My core emotion is that my childhood need for recognition was not well met, which is often expressed as ambivalence.” Or, “I act this way because I am this type of person.” This is an intellectual shift to protect the self as a defense mechanism generated by the fear of self-exposure.
The fourth is grouping emotions into vague technical terms. There may be conflicts or difficult emotions that some people cannot solve by simply saying ‘I’m angry.’ It would be more accurate to say that he wants to kill the object of anger or that he hates the object. Exaggerating emotions, crying a lot, not keeping appointments, frequently changing, and forgetting can also be seen as part of the resistance.
In counseling, resistance arises in the relationship between the counselor and the client, and the counselor sensitively identifies and uses the resistance positively. In self-expressive writing for missionary self-reflection, it is crucial to deal with such resistance thoroughly, but missionaries should discover the resistance by themselves in self-expressive writing. While describing the content of one’s own story in detail, it is also necessary at the same time to deal with the story’s unfolding process, which is how the missionary felt at that time during a specific event or story. The missionary will unconsciously not want to write down the stories he wants to avoid. But if he re-reads the self-expressive writing he has narrated, there may be stories he hasn’t addressed. Especially when dealing with resistance, it is necessary to make the most of the observer’s abilities.
There are two aspects of resistance that are dealt with in writing for self-reflection, positive and negative. On the negative side, resistance is an action of the mind that hinders the flow of further insight. However, from a positive point of view, it can be said that it is an expression of a positive psychological mechanism that enables a person to live while maintaining their personality. Without these defenses, humans cannot maintain their character and live. In other words, the reason for forming such a psychological mechanism is that it functions as an unconscious immune system that always protects and maintains equilibrium from revealing vulnerabilities or being invaded deep inside. Anyone who wants to grow and mature one step further from who they are now will have to face such resistance and escape from who they were yesterday. It is never pleasant because there are many steps to go through.
Self-expressive writing therapy achieves growth and maturation by discovering the self in daily events, the defense mechanism one uses, the core emotions found in the defense mechanism, and another self that struggles and resists.
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